About

i was watching a TV series, a quota came to my ere and i loved it. "It is Your Birthday, it is an excuse to be happy"  to be Happy, a word was more than crucial in my life, but yes its not gonna happen, i have to fake it, thats why i have people around, they'll help. it was my birthday, my father got ill, i was far from home, and a pile of memories left, i could not come back and i could not achieve, what a shame!! but no it is always no, i do have my sense, is it to be near or you have to feel and help other to safely pass through their own feelings. i was not happy and all moments i passed,  i continued checking did i do what i have to do, am i worthy to act, a deep sorrow cannot get out and say you are free, i set you free. why i have to be happy, is it necessary, i think need balance rather than, so yes! (i have to go and i love you so), and i remember it was their choice it was their beliefs, i stood against...

it was hard, and it was fast, nothing stopped us from continue, i could not help it, i beat him once, i was pride but god damn it, there was nothing special. it was stupid competition. i remember when we all got prepared, for that exam and we were internally talking about it, inside of us not with others, thinking that we have to pass, well i was thinking that i have to be 1st, and i had to win and moreover cross over him and make him 2nd. now i cannot do it again, i received nothing, i lost my motivation and what for!? i always find excuses to forget my friends and be too far, no social and blame the rest when i lose my essentials, and lonely took me over. so what the matters are? the winner take them all, and the loser wine and talk and talk, i believe when the 2nd time in my life i found the competition, i found myself experienced the 1st moment, so i left and he won, and he took them all, what a...